Updated: Jan 24
“Nothing is less productive than making more efficient what should not be done at all” Peter Drucker.
Ouch, thought I’d share as food for thought 🙂 I had to read it twice. How often do I try and organise my to do list better when some things shouldn’t even be on it! One of the ways to tackle efficiency is to develop habits. The thing is I’m terrible at habits.
If you are anything like me, you might enjoy reading Brendan Burchard’s ‘High Performance Habits’. the habits he mentions make sense, and as he shows how, I am somehow starting to manage them (more or less!).
- First is clarity and he focuses on clarity about the future – in terms of social network, skills to develop, service to others and self-development.
- Second is the importance of creating energy – in terms of optimizing health, but also anticipating positive outcomes. He also mentions setting triggers of the service and outcome you want from an encounter or project.
- The third habit is all about building necessity into what we do.
- Number four is productivity: not only setting priorities, but also seeking a balance of satisfaction, rather than just a balance of hours. He raises the importance of weekly evaluation of ten areas of life (health, family, friends, partner, mission, finances, adventure, hobby, spirituality and emotions). He encourages focusing on increasing high quality input by increasing energy and planning.
- Five is about increasing our influence.
- Six is to show courage and to develop courage in sharing new ideas.
These habits help me know what needs to be on that to do list. Check out Brandon Burchard’s book ‘high performance habits’ for more on deciding your five moves to your goal.
So I asked myself:
In what ways do these habits relate to mums or dads who hold the fort abroad?
Here are a few ways :
* “High Performers replace their need for certainty with curiosity and genuine self-confidence.” Uncertainty is certainly part of life abroad with a travelling partner.
”A High Performer does better than their peers for longer periods”
”A High Performer has habits that protect their well-being and they maintain positive relationships.”
”High Performers are focused on sculpting themselves into stronger and more capable people. They can describe their future selves.”
Sometimes we get bogged down by all the plates we have to keep spinning. The needs of the ‘now’ are so present that they take up all the space.
If this is you, I encourage you to take a minute and ask yourself ‘where do I see myself in five years?’ (not in terms of location necessarily, that’s almost impossible for a global nomad but in terms of what you could be doing as a passion project). Once you have an idea what your future goal is, think about one thing that you can do/change to get closer to the ‘big thing’. Start planting a seed, even if you work on it 5 minutes a day. Every solo parent I spoke to when researching my book told me that working on their own project even for short amounts of time, really helped them.
Remember, baby steps are the road to skill (Daniel Coyle)
Book a coaching session
You have the opportunity to figure out the life you want and how to build it, Without destroying the life you have or making drastic changes.
If you are feeling:
- Overwhelmed by everyday responsibilities.
- Envious that your partner is travelling while you are stuck at home.
- Frustrated that you don’t have time for your own projects.
- If don’t know what you want to do anymore
and you want to:
- start working or training even if you are holding the fort most of the time and don’t have much time.
- find what you want to do in life
- manage all the juggling from a life with a partner away
- figure out what help you need and how to get it
Then I would be delighted to accompany you on your personal journey by coaching you. Book a discovery call so we can get to know each other and you can tell me what you aspire to.
Rhoda Bangerter is a coach who has lived abroad with a travelling husband for over 16 years. She helps home based mums and dads live an intentional life and build family togetherness even when their partner is away a lot for work.